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While the debate over footwear is just starting to get good, read it here (thanks Dom), its time to turn our attention to something almost as important, rain gear.
I don’t expect any debate over this cuz I’ve thought long and hard and its the proverbial “end of discussion” right here with this recommendation: the PONCHO.
Yessir, the one piecer with a couple of grommets that doubles as a groundcloth when you wanna crash out and watch the swirly lights of Massive Attack.
But my recommendation for the poncho isn’t just because of its waterproofness, but because of its lesser known property which people who have never worn a poncho do not know: invisibility.
Trust me, when you don this cape you will simply disappear into the audience and out of the realm of normal thought or behavior. You will be free to do some pretty rad things with all this freedom and dry acreage underneath this PVC material. Go ahead and try to twist up a hand rolled cigarette during a downpour or look at your schedule during a deluge. Impossible! And, do we need to talk about the convenience of doing your business like No. 1 or No. 2. Hey man, no zippers to deal with!
Best of all, and you gotta just trust me on this one, cuz I rocked a poncho last year and it was pretty fun ( wish i could find it again, but that’s another story) but the absolute best thing is that it’s almost like a super hero’s cloak of invisibility, or a free pass to party with no recrimination. And we all know how real life just sucks cuz you gotta deal with consequences… But heck yeah, party on with this poncho and go ahead and passing out all nite and just think of this thing as your totally tote-able tent. No long walk back to the campsite!
If you still don’t believe me, and this is my final argument, consider for a moment a festival-goer wearing a neat little 2-piece North Face rain suit. Everyone expects this person to follows the rules and does as he is asked. Heck this person is probably hustling his butt between stages, only seeing half a set each time, and worried about how the long line for the toilet is gonna mess up his chance to see Muse. Now enter this bro sporting a Chief’s poncho and rockin out to Rusko’s dubstep and waving a couple of beers over his head or bashing his fists and throwing up the horns to Taylor Hawkins (Dave Grohl’s drummer for Foo Fighters, like hello, you gotta be good on the skins if you play with Grohl every night) and like hey, you got no idea what that dude’s doing. He’s the mystery. He’s where the party’s at, even if its somewhere inside his non-breathable, popped out space of his poncho head.
And that’s why i say wear the poncho, the cloak, or the cape. It’s simply rock and roll in its purest form. And dudes don’t tell me it don’t rain hard enough during the fest to require one of these things. I been there when only a one-piecer will do.
This poncho, by the way, is a childhood heirloom, first purchased by a boy at age 8 and handed over to a friend. It was worn sporadically on a Vespa in the city of New Orleans, and only recently recovered on a home visit last year. And you know, just tell me this thing wouldn’t fetch a coupla dollars in one of those fancy vintage clothing stores in Tokyo.
